(( DEAR GOD NO- except for the fact that I do slightly ship it. Also, when you reply, do it through reblogging. I can’t reply to answers or whatever that speech bubble is))
Pinto eased himself back on to the hospital bed, wincing from the pressure on his sore coccyx. Not that that was the part of him worst off, of course. He hoped the asshole in the other bed had been asleep while he had taken his little stroll. It was a full moon, how was he supposed to resist? A broken leg had never stopped him before… not that he was accustomed to breaking bones.
Out of the corner of his eye, Pinto noticed a green dangly decoration with what looked (and smelled) like leppa berries stuck on. It was hanging on the frame around Vance’s bed. Pinto’s stomach growled. He quietly eased back off of the bed and crept, as well as he could, over to the decoration. He doubted Vance would mind terribly if he stole it: the guy never had any holiday cheer to begin with.
( I have not done this before, and prose is not my thing, so keep your standards low.)
Vance had been awake for hours. Or for what felt like hours. There were no clocks that he could see. No bright numbers to laugh in his face, but he would guess it was about four o’clock. He had occupied himself the last few hours alternating between staring at the ceiling, and staring at the mistletoe on his hospital bed frame that a nurse had decorated the room with. He was not a holiday person. The mistletoe looked garish and made the room more unpleasant than before. At least the ceiling was nice. All the while, he wondered how the fuck the asshole that broke his ribs had walked out of the room on a broken leg.
The door creaked open and his shitty hospital roommate walked back into the room. Vance closed his eyes and tried to stop thinking. He heard Pinto’s footsteps approaching his hospital bed. He opened his eyes to see fiddling around with the mistletoe.
“What the fuck are you doing.”
“What the fuck aren’t I doing?” He replied in a whisper so the nurses wouldn’t hear, “Also I am stealing your fruity lettuce so suck it.”
Pinto pulled off the leppa berries and popped them in his mouth, chewing slowly while making eye contact with Vance. Of course, these berries were not, in fact, leppa berries, but rather the poisonous mistletoe berries that are not fit for consumption by man- most mons. The glands in Pinto’s neck started swelling almost instantly. Air flow stopped and Pinto dropped the mistletoe on to Vance’s face, his eyes bugging and red stained saliva dribbling out of his mouth.
(This is so stupid XD)
Shit shit shit.
What could he do? What could he do? Call for help? He called for help. No response. Or at least there wasn’t one coming nearly fast enough. Chest compressions? Chest compressions. It was no use. The dickwad was losing consciousness. Oh god, what else? Pinto’s breathing was slowing. Think think think. Was there anything he could do? He could think of one thing.
“Oh for fuck’s sake.”
The last thing Vance wanted was for his and Pinto’s mouths to be touching. Scratch that. Tee last thing he wanted was the toxin to seep into his system while their mouths were touching. Ah, but there are some things in life that are out of one’s control.
He gasped as his airway began to tighten and he grasped at his throat. “HHHCK.” He coughed. “GHACK.”
“What on earth is going on here?” A nurse walked into the room and saw the two bodies writhing on the floor.
(good job bruh! We can wrap this up or keep it going, whatever you feel)
The next morning, Crimson, Jean, Teal, and [Cobalt] paid their friend and Vance a visit. The room that had, only hours before, housed both injured parties, now contained only Vance. Pinto had been moved across the hall. For some reason, neither dude would fess up as to why they were separated, but an abandoned sprig of mistletoe under Vance’s bed, were it to be found, might be found to hold the story.
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