&*& (mess)

bluteamblueprints:

X

“How do I work this thing?” Dell furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at the odd contraption sitting in front of him. Normally, he could work it out, but this… this was something different. 

“I know, it’s weird right? A friend of mine accidentally picked it up from the future when they had a bad episode. It’s called a “furby,” and they gave it to me after an exorcism didn’t do anything to make it less “cursed.” Apparently it’s a robot and runs on these.”

She showed him some AA batteries.

“They told me that it wakes up if you put these in the slot here on the bottom then press this button while the thing is still upside down until it starts moving. I was too scared to do it on my own.”

rpmemesfam:

✧   BROOKLYN  NINE  –  NINE  SENTENCE  PROMPTS   !  

*  A VARIETY & MIXTURE OF THE SHOW, CHANGE PRONOUNS AS NEEDED / FITTING .
  • The next time I see you I’d like you to be wearing a necktie.

  • Get rid of the mouse, and get your act together. Now.


  • ❝ I see what you’re trying to do, but it’s not gonna work.. ❞
  • Wow, looks like he hates you even more than me.


  • God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever.


  • Giving him a name makes him human.


  • I’m fairly certain you would be caught.


  • What’s the most valuable thing in your office?


  • You mean my job as an amazing detective/genius?


  • Did you tell her we slept together twice?


  • ❝ I’m not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit. ❞
  • I’d wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing.


  • You’re going to leave my precinct and my task force alone.


  • Come on, who wants to take this seriously?

  • I bet she tucked herself in the bed too tight and got stuck.

     ❞

  • Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick!

     ❞

  • Oh, is he sore from high-fiving criminals he’s gotten out of jail?


  • Did he get a murderer off who then murdered him to celebrate?


  • A cop and a defense attorney sleeping together? That’s highly unusual.


  • It’s a personal matter, involving a personal friend and his personal uncle.


  • So you remembered to turn off your signature, right?


  • I promise you, as soon as they tell me, you’ll be the first to know.


  • You won. Go ahead and gloat, you toad.


  • Look, I promise I won’t tell anyone, alright? My lips are sealed!


  • This is a secret. Do you understand me?

  • ❝ You do know what they do to witches up there, don’t you? ❞ 
  • Well, I think we handled that with dignity.


  • Are you making fun of my stutter?


  • ❝ Oh. Uh… Sorry. I think I’m feeling a little awkward. ❞
  • How do we make it not weird?


  • I just realized I’m never gonna be able to say that to his face.

  • You know I’ve made a lot of improvements since you left?


  • I know we just met, and I don’t wanna be too forward…


  • I’ve got that feeling about you. I like you. I think tonight we-

  • ❝ They just gave me ten years in prison.. ❞
  • You can’t do anything except disobey orders and screw up!


  • Why are you dressed up? You look like an idiot.


  • What’s up? How can I help?


  • Well, we’ll just break you down to nothin’ and see what time it is.


  • Speaking of which, I’m getting hungry. What’s for dinner?

  • Why do people like these things? They’re just shiny rocks.


  • We’re gonna talk to a lawyer and get a professional opinion.


  • Looks good! Can barely tell you hulked out in here.


  • I just threw a bunch of popcorn on the floor. It wasn’t that hard.


  • All I did was be the only person who believes in you.


  • ❝ Somebody’s tryin’ to kill me, and I need protection. ❞
  • I can smoke as much weed as I want.


  • It’s this kind of bickering that makes us such an adorable couple.


  • ❝ I saw an opening and I had to take it. ❞
  • But this isn’t over! I will hunt you to the ends of the earth!


  • What?! But we saw him throw them in the garbage!


  • Nobody’s ever gonna see that footage; the case was cut and dry.


  • It’s not like I’m dying to tell anyone I saw your-


  • I’m dating my son-of-a-bitch ex-husband; who am I to judge?


  • I’ll let you guys talk! I’ll just close my eyes.


  • I’ll let you give me a spray tan! Any shade you want!


  • ❝ Massage! I’ll give you a massage! ❞
  • I’ll also give you full control over my hair and wardrobe.


  • That really freaked me out and I just want this to end now.

  • The cheese is amazing. It melts in my mouth. And in my hands!

  • Come on, you can be honest.

  • I want old, expensive books. I’ll send you a list.

  • The tow truck just got here, so that’ll buy us at least an hour.

  • Tow truck?! What the hell’d you do to my car?!

  • What we need in here is an armored personnel carrier. A tank!

  • Well, I’m gonna go follow up on a lead right now. ❞

  • Woah, no! What’re those morons doing in there?!

     ❞

  • Why is everyone just standing around? Get back to work!

  • What’d you do? What’d you say?

  • I hear you can smuggle in crap from outside.

  • What’re you lookin’ at? You got a problem?

  • ❝ I like you. You got balls.. ❞
  • I hate to rub it in, detectives, but I told you they’d find me.

  • Well, he keeps yelling, “Disability for life!” so I think he’s fine.

  • ❝ Who hired you? Who do you work for, pizza man?! ❞
  • You look out there and see a problem, I look out there and see an opportunity.

  • What have I become? Was this whole thing even worth it?

  • All because we shut down a foot massage place.

    ❞    

  • Oh, my God. The City has no mayor now.

    ❞    

  • Put your magical hands where I can see them!

    ❞    

  • Did they make their bust? Did they save the precinct?

    ❞  

  • I was behind the bar the whole time.

    ❞    

  • I bet they have some awesome name for it.

    ❞    

  • Can a paring knife remove a human heart in under a minute?

    ❞    

  • I think you guys might be our best option at finding this guy again.

    ❞    

  • You know, a bunch of us are going out drinking tonight.

    ❞    

  • ❝ How did you get over there? Who are they? ❞    
  • ❝ I’ve been calling you. Why won’t you answer your phone? ❞    
  • ❝ We’ve been onto you for weeks, and we finally got you. ❞    
  • I’ve never seen them before! What is going on?

    ❞    

  • We’re on the money trail, and we just found a new lead.

     ❞    

  • ❝ Okay, this is bad. This is really bad.  ❞    
  • ❝ Wait… What? Did you say “eat people”? Are you a cannibal, [ Name ]? ❞    
  • I’m always gonna be one step ahead of you.

    ❞  

  • ❝ I’m so confused. I don’t know what’s happening right now. ❞

Starter For @donnez-moi-vos-vivres

donnez-moi-vos-vivres:

oldboyjensrps:

The gun’s appearance earned a sharp inhale from Messenger: half relief that it wasnt a throwing knife in her throat and half ‘oh boy a gun.’ She her eyes locked with René’s and one hand stayed in the air as the other clumsily unbuttoned her blouse. There were a couple layers of awkward to the situation, but at this point the only intrusive thoughts sticking around concerned cursing her faltering fine motor skills.

“Yep, yep. Direct directive from the Administrator . I mean I think it’s a directive. Probably not just a hi how are you right haha ah… but um, I don’t know stuff before you. She was just really dead specific that it’s for your eyes only,” a slight pause, “Well, I mean your eyes and brain. And the rest of you…y’know, person wise.” The raised hand flops in a hopeless gesture, “Um, I am… going to lower my other hand now to get this open so I don’t take years. Please don’t shoot, it’s just the tv.”

After the warning, she slowly lowered her hand, still maintaining eye contact, and got the last few buttons undone. The little TV was a slightly different model than the ones carried by the usual grunts. Just the slightest bit updated with an extra couple switches on the side.

René couldn’t stop the short snort of laughter at the words ‘direct directive’. He just couldn’t help it. For some reason, his mind decided that these specific words put together in this specific context was wildly hilarious, enough to make his poker face crack just slightly. He composed himself almost immediately, however, and leaned forward to examine the TV. It was slightly different, he realized, having more switches, presumably for better communication.

He could only assume it was because the mission would be more complicated, probably secretive, most likely dangerous and rather risky. He could only sigh quietly as he considered the likelihood of him getting out of this one alive. Probably no more than twenty percent, which was alright, he’s beat worse odds before. It was really just the pain of having to plan out every move carefully.

“Alright… I suppose we can start, then.” He reached forward and flipped the ‘on’ switch. The TV crackled for a few moments before the Administrator’s stern face appeared amidst the static.

She had managed to make him laugh somehow. Messenger couldn’t help but grin awkwardly with the tiniest bit of pride at making it this far. Not dead and he broke character for a second? Wow, high five to you, you not dead mailman. 

As soon as René leaned to check the TV, Messenger stiffened. It wasn’t a fear response, however. She simply stood up straight, arms at her sides, and stared ahead, barely blinking. She was unfazed by his flipping the switch, and simply listened at attention to her employer as the static cleared.

“Oh good, I see the TV at least got to you in one piece. Messenger, status?” She drawled, looking almost bored.

“Alive, ma’am.”

“Congratulations. If you’d gotten yourself killed this would be all the more irritating. Well, I suppose you’re wondering what the job is.” She took a drag on her cigarette, letting the smoke cast a bit of an eerie filter over the video, “I have an associate in Chicago that you are going to pay a visit. He goes by the name Benny Goodwick and runs a bar and game-room called Prissy Lips-

Messenger made an ‘ugh’ face at the name.

which is where you will find him. We have a trade to make, and I am sending you with the intelligence to keep it secure, and to make sure Goodwick keeps his end of the deal. This is an escort mission. Eliminate or neutralize any threats to the intelligence, both on the way out and the way back. Do you have any questions?”

“May I please draw your OC?”

carminecrossroads:

Reblog this message if you encourage anyone that wants to draw your OC to do so.  No need to ask for permission in advance.

Go for it.  Draw my OC.  If you want, I’ll even give you reference posts.  Go to town on it.

You are welcome to draw my OC and surprise me with the result.  Seriously.  In fact, I encourage it.  I will proudly display whatever it is you submit to me regarding my OC.  There is a chance that I will squeal about it for several days.

Even if you feel you aren’t good at whatever artistic adventure it is you do, please feel free to submit it to me.  I want to see what you have done.