Tag: [lil bits]

💜- A memory about one of their loved ones, happy or sad

After Messenger’s nephew was born, she was the first person to make him laugh. Her dad had been trying for like an hour and when she was finally passed the baby, all she had to do was smile and make one goofy puffed face and the baby giggled for the first time. It was a pretty substantial victory, and she is still guaranteed to be the one her nephew and niece gravitate toward and ask about when they don’t see her for a while.

How about this one instead, Number 13: Does your muse believe any superstitions?

Oh yeah 4000%. You could say this stems from the zany supernatural stuff she encountered during her childhood, but most of it is actually anxiety based. Messenger’s anxiety disorder, though she’s been working through things through her adult life, still causes her to follow certain compulsory rituals to feel some degree of control over stuff where she really can’t. Tossing salt over her shoulder, avoiding cracks in the sidewalk, picking worms off said sidewalk partially out of compassion and partly out of fear that if she doesn’t one of her loved ones will die, hiding her thumbs when passing graveyards, etc etc- these are all little protective rules she consciously and subconsciously has set for herself that become compulsions. She also has some lucky charms as well, some real some not.

On the other hand she’s totally chill on Friday the 13th for reasons very few people believe.

💛: does my muse believe in love-at-first-sight? in soulmates? in fate?

Messenger doesn’t believe in love at first sight, and her belief in soulmates is a “multiple possible soulmates” sorta thing. She HOPES though. Like it would be REALLY NICE but doubtful. 

She really doesn’t want to believe in fate, but does believe in God and “super strong coincidences that maybe some higher power had a hand in who fucking knows.” Hates the idea of predestination type fate though, with a passion. Will fistfight the concept in a denny’s parking lot if given the chance. 

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Messenger was surprisingly really into Disney Princesses when she was a child. Snow white was her first love, and later she saw herself even more reflected in Cinderella. Messenger wanted to be a Veterinarian Princess with a plane. She would have her handsome prince and family that adored her along with her farm, her veterinary practice, and a small plane to fly around in.

As an older child she “realized” (was convinced) that she was too ugly to be a princess and after some run ins found that she couldn’t handle having to put animals down or see them in so much pain. She held on to the farm and the plane though, and thanks to a good teacher her dream switched to “author.” 

The farm is a WIP, but she did manage to become a serialized author (not in a way she would have expected) and ironically has managed to nurse some animals back to health, just not as a real vet.

Solitude: Name 3 things your muse couldn’t live without.

Hmmm… Tricky. Some of these are a little more literal than others.

 Music I think would be one for sure, drives would get lonely if she didn’t have songs to sing, and she has a pretty solid record collection. It’s helped her through a hell of a lot.

Her set of penpal friends if that counts as one thing. This is a constant in all her Tf2niverses- meeting them pretty literally both saved and changed her life. The Witch and the Courier in particular are two of the only people Messenger Prime would kill for.

Hr eyesight. It’s pretty safe to say that if she lost her eyesight and ability to work she would probably be killed by Administrator to begin with, but mmm even that aside she would probably fall into a really deep despair, aggravating issues she’s already dealing with.

What is the biggest and most important goal you have set for yourself?

“Well, uh, I haven’t exactly been setting a TON of goals lately since, uh,  I kinda have to take it day by day. Could take the easy way out and say ‘not dying,’ but that’s pretty obvious. Most people have that one, and honestly it’s not my most important goal? Everybody bites it someday, I guess my biggest goal is to be happy with myself when I do. To be able to be content and not live in a constant state of pointless guilt and fear? Or maybe to make a positive imprint on someone, but I know I have and plus like I gotta, y’know, make a positive impact on myself. Does that make sense? It probably doesn’t. I shoulda just said ‘get dogs.’ That’s another big one.”

Mercsenger HC

Merasmus tried to mail Soldier a package of cursed bees in a box labeled “not bees” once. Under the suspicion that the not bees were, in fact, bees , Messenger instead asked Soldier if he had ordered bees (he hadn’t) and gently released them into the wild off base.

However, beecause of the curse, they continued to find and follow her everywhere. Instead of trying to get rid of them Messenger bough a cute beehive from her buddy and beefriended them. The bees also turned out to be invenerable (due to the curse) which she only knows because a raccoon tried to eat one.

The other guys kinda just… give her a wide beearth.

What motivates her? What are her ideals? Is she happy with what she is doing right now? Is she proud of herself? If she could change one thing right now, what would it be?

Messenger is motivated by the intense desire to be useful. She really, really, REALLY wants to do a good job. Her professional drive has a very emotional undercurrent of longing to be worth something to someone: in this case the Administrator. On the other hand, love is another big motivator- almost always  in a “caring for someone’s well-being and wanting to help them” sense. This isn’t limited to people she actually knows; seeing people in danger or hurting (almost) no matter who they are is a big drive to act on her part. Meaning that sometimes the two motivators… clash a little. *(see nearly every injury she’s ever gotten on the job)

The third big motivator is spite. It has both kept her alive and screwed her over many times.

Ideals (the biggest ones)

1. Honor Commitment- Messenger is pretty literally ride or die. If she’s committed to a job, a person, or anything really- it often takes precedence over her own wellbeing. 

2. Honesty Is the best policy- which causes a lot of internal conflict with her because… well her job means keeping secrets. It’s okay if it’s acting though.

3. Take responsibility 

4. Choose kindness when you can 

5. Death is coming: Be as unapologetically

weird as you are 

6. Do whatever you can for those you love

7. Defend the innocent

8. Don’t be a dick and don’t be pretentious 

Is she happy?

Messenger actually is, most of the time, very happy with what she is doing. She’s good at her job and she’s made friends that she cares about and spends time with. They even care about her back. She feels useful and helpful, and like she’s accomplished a lot. She is very proud of herself and how far she’s come from when she was a kid. She can barely admit it to herself though. Because her self esteem is… iffy. She tries though.

If she could change one thing right now? About her life in total? It’s a little cliche but she would change how her dad acts about and sees her. Or just find someone to fill that void in her life.