Daily Reminder that Merc AU Messenger is just… fucking ridiculous.
And because of this, in her main storyverse, she fits in GREAT with the other supports.
Daily Reminder that Merc AU Messenger is just… fucking ridiculous.
And because of this, in her main storyverse, she fits in GREAT with the other supports.

October 1972- with no real way to schedule fighting robots Messenger has decided to just put the question in random spots to remind herself to stay SHARP.
I finally did the Mercsenger version of this. Sorry for the bad handwriting- using my computer track pad.
Template by @talariis
Tagged by: @necklace-of-teeth
Tagging: @talariis @rcdpyro @refiinedrogue @bushcamping @politescoutrussell @donnez-moi-vos-vivres @redheav @udidntexpect And anyone I’ve missed!
Content Warning: Violence, abuse mention, alcohol mention, torture mention, injury mention, kidnapping mention, self harm mention- proceed with caution.
Bold what your muse has done
I’m saying this is probably @1970 And is only counting her constants
Prime Messenger- Note: holy shit prime
broken a bone | gotten stitches | had a serious illness | had a near-death experience | killed someone | tried and failed to kill someone | invented something | been hungover | kissed someone | slow-danced | been in a long-term relationship | had sex | had sex and regretted it | had a one-night stand | had a threesome | experimented with their sexuality | had a kid | gotten married | gotten a divorce | self-harmed | traveled to another country | been in a play | received an inheritance | been in a car wreck | lost a loved one | been dumped | dumped someone | smoked -1 time. Didn’t go well. | gotten high | been slipped something in their food/drink-but detected it | won a contest | won an election | joined a sports team | gone skydiving | gone hunting | been in a band | had a job | been fired | been in a wedding party | owned a pet | seen a ghost | skipped class/work | learned an instrument | gotten a noticeable scar | sued someone | been robbed | been mugged | been kidnapped | been sexually assaulted | been brainwashed/hypnotized | gone more than one day without eating | had a recurring nightmare | been bullied | bullied someone | seen someone die | attempted suicide | been tied/chained up | shot someone | stabbed someone | saved someone’s life | cheated on someone | been cheated on | had a stalker | been betrayed | been in a fight | been arrested | been to a funeral | had surgery | broken someone’s trust | gotten a piercing | gotten a tattoo | used a fake name | been tortured | been abused | been blackmailed | had an attempt on their life | gotten away with a crime | gone on a road trip | been in love
Merc Au Messenger- oh yeah it balances out
broken a bone | gotten stitches | had a serious illness | had a near-death experience | killed someone | tried and failed to kill someone | invented something | been hungover | kissed someone | slow-danced | been in a long-term relationship | had sex | had sex and regretted it | had a one-night stand | had a threesome | experimented with their sexuality | had a kid | gotten married | gotten a divorce | self-harmed | traveled to another country | been in a play | received an inheritance | been in a car wreck | lost a loved one | been dumped | dumped someone | smoked | gotten high | been slipped something in their food/drink | won a contest | won an election | joined a sports team | gone skydiving | gone hunting | been in a band | had a job | been fired | been in a wedding party | owned a pet | seen a ghost | skipped class/work | learned an instrument | gotten a noticeable scar | sued someone | been robbed | been mugged | been kidnapped | been sexually assaulted | been brainwashed/hypnotized | gone more than one day without eating | had a recurring nightmare | been bullied | bullied someone | seen someone die | attempted suicide | been tied/chained up | shot someone | stabbed someone | saved someone’s life | cheated on someone | been cheated on | had a stalker | been betrayed | been in a fight | been arrested | been to a funeral | had surgery | broken someone’s trust | gotten a piercing | gotten a tattoo | used a fake name | been tortured | been abused | been blackmailed | had an attempt on their life | gotten away with a crime | gone on a road trip | been in love
Tagged by: @donnez-moi-vos-vivres
Tagging: @misspauling @rcdpyro @bushcamping @pissfirstaskquestionslater @liltf2blog (for whoever you’d like) And anyone I missed who hasn’t already done it!
NAME . Barbara Jared, The Messenger,
NICKNAME . *cracks knuckles: the ones highlighted are specific to Mercsenger*- Babs, Barb, Barbs, Barbed-Wire, Bar-none, Barbie (Only by one specific person otherwise you’re on her shitlist), Pet (again specific use or you get a fork in the eye), Pidge, Pidgey, Pigeon, Possum, Taube, Doo, Looney, Laska, Messy, Mess, Mailman, babyface (if you want to get smacked), dickbiter, wildcard, badger, puppet (don’t), Barbarino (DEFO DO NOT)
AGE . 32 @ 1972
SPECIES . Human
MORALITY . lawful / chaotic / Good / neutral / evil / true .-It varies.
RELIGION . Raised Methodist. Now more loosely deistic but still has a very strict moral code she only holds herself to. (Mercsenger is more chaotic because she’s dead convinced she’s going to Hell)
SINS . greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath .
VIRTUES . chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience /
KNOWN LANGUAGES . English, Spanish, Russian (Mercsenger has a more solid hold on this one), Moderately okay with various Indigenous languages
SECRETS . Other people’s secrets, some key intel, Her actual jobs- to most of her family, the fact that she has multiple actual jobs and lives in New Mexico as a somewhat accomplishedish author along with either being merc or messenger ie her entire life past age 21- To her dad who thinks she’s been a temp in LA for 11 years, her name (to the mercs), her cover job as one of Hale’s receptionists which is like a really poorly kept secret, everything else about herself she’s real fucking open about
PHYSICAL !
BUILD . scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average .
HEIGHT . 5′4″
SCARS / BIRTHMARKS . Prime: Huge array of scarring on both sides of her right shoulder from a wound and consequent surgeries, beauty mark/mole on her right cheek, some minor facial scars, various minor scars on her back and chest from hostage situations, freckles
Mercsenger:
beauty mark/mole on her right cheek, burn/ branding scars on her chest, electric scars on chest and stomach, scar on chin, some minor re-spawn remainders, freckles.
ABILITIES / POWERS . Prime: Extreme durability/resistance from melee/blunt attacks-via physician + genetics, high pain tolerance, natural anxious energy and unnasuming nature that means she’s underestimated and looked past because her fear and venerability aren’t an act and it shows, acting skills, can talk to some animals but only long ones- eels, worms, caterpillars, snakes, ferrets etc, trained to pass out after certain pain/stress thresh-hold to make intel gathering harder (flight), power of unpredictability and using her environment in weird ways
Mercsenger:
natural anxious energy and unnasuming nature that means she’s underestimated and looked past/ not seen as a threat because her fear and venerability aren’t an act and it shows, acting skills, can talk to some animals but only long ones- eels, worms, caterpillars, snakes, ferrets etc, after a certain threshold/amount of damage while in or when switching to melee she becomes a hell of a lot more dangerous and her attack power increases like a cornered animal (fight),
power of unpredictability and creative combat strategies such as she can,will, and has bitten off fingers tactically. Oh yeah and she has implants in her brain that allow Admin to access her sensory organs-to hear or see shit and talk to the mercs-and occasionally fully possess her. Yay.
RESTRICTIONS . Severe anxiety and self doubt, desperate need but refusal to openly seek validation, inferiority complex a mile wide, a pushover if she wants to trust you, drive to be useful and please people often results in ignoring her own health and wellbeing, prone to panic attacks, a slower processing speed and social/learning issues related to her NLD, ADHD, executive dysfunction if it has to do with herself, physically weak and the most squishy member of her team, RECKLESS at the worst/best moments, emotional and prone to pausing to assess options in a morally compromising situation (which is like, all of her situations)
FAVORITES !
FOOD
. This one specific pasta dish her mom used to make
DRINK
. Mildly sweet iced tea, hot chocolate, peach sangria
PIZZA TOPPING
. J-just one? Only one? Hhhh…. Hhh??? hhhh… ChEEsE??
COLOR
. Orange
MUSIC GENRE
. Things fun to sing and belt, more into individual songs than genres or artists, some showtunes
BOOK GENRE
. fantasy, adventure, girls having adventures, women being rad
MOVIE GENRE
. Musicals,
CURSE WORD . FUCK, or rapscallion, or dingus, or chucklehead but FUCK is the one true best to say.
SCENTS
. Almonds, library stacks, right before or right after rain, mountain lakeside, summer evening, when it smells and feels like snow, cinnamon buns, pumpkin
BOTTOM OR TOP . Bottom. Unless she’s like energetic for some reason but also no. She’s fucking lazy.
SINGS IN THE SHOWER . Sings in the shower, sings in the bathroom outside the shower, sings about showers, sings in rain showers, sings whenever she wants it’s just fun to do
LIKES PUNS . Absolutely.
The mercs are constantly fighting over and stealing each other’s food the way groups of people tend to do, but there are two people whose shit you don’t touch. One being Pyro, for obvious reasons, the other being Messenger. She doesn’t get mad or violent, but she does know how to (sort of play) the recorder and be dramatic so you’d have to deal with this for at least the next 24 hours:
Don’t eat her gummy bears, binch. She was looking forward to those.
[Messenger and Scout just laying on their backs lookin up at the sky. Probably on a tanker crate or something]
Messenger: You ever just, shriek with wild abandon?
Scout: No?
Messenger: Huh.
Messenger: Try it some time. Really loosens up the emotional vocal chords.
Scout:…
Messenger:…
Messenger: [Shrieks like demonic pterodactyl]