Messenger’s the kind of gal to raise a pair of small songbirds of a specific type for the sole purpose of making well timed “tit” jokes.

Source: dankmemeuniversity

The Difference

Messenger Prime: “Please don’t kill me.”

Mercsenger: “Please don’t kill me, bitch.”

elloras:

– He never listens.

– Well, it runs in the family.

– And when he does, it’s always with this disappointed scowl, like someone skimped on the meat in his sandwich.

Source: elloras

its that time again

comradmax:

coolhotdad:

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

What motivates her? What are her ideals? Is she happy with what she is doing right now? Is she proud of herself? If she could change one thing right now, what would it be?

Messenger is motivated by the intense desire to be useful. She really, really, REALLY wants to do a good job. Her professional drive has a very emotional undercurrent of longing to be worth something to someone: in this case the Administrator. On the other hand, love is another big motivator- almost always in a “caring for someone’s well-being and wanting to help them” sense. This isn’t limited to people she actually knows; seeing people in danger or hurting (almost) no matter who they are is a big drive to act on her part. Meaning that sometimes the two motivators… clash a little. *(see nearly every injury she’s ever gotten on the job)

The third big motivator is spite. It has both kept her alive and screwed her over many times.

Ideals (the biggest ones)

1. Honor Commitment- Messenger is pretty literally ride or die. If she’s committed to a job, a person, or anything really- it often takes precedence over her own wellbeing.

2. Honesty Is the best policy- which causes a lot of internal conflict with her because… well her job means keeping secrets. It’s okay if it’s acting though.

3. Take responsibility

4. Choose kindness when you can

5. Death is coming: Be as unapologetically

weird as you are

6. Do whatever you can for those you love

7. Defend the innocent

8. Don’t be a dick and don’t be pretentious

Is she happy?

Messenger actually is, most of the time, very happy with what she is doing. She’s good at her job and she’s made friends that she cares about and spends time with. They even care about her back. She feels useful and helpful, and like she’s accomplished a lot. She is very proud of herself and how far she’s come from when she was a kid. She can barely admit it to herself though. Because her self esteem is… iffy. She tries though.

If she could change one thing right now? About her life in total? It’s a little cliche but she would change how her dad acts about and sees her. Or just find someone to fill that void in her life.